


My Parabatai

by Middy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blind Date, Blood and Violence, Domestic Fluff, First Dates, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Knifeplay, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Tracking, Past Relationship(s), Public Sex, Stamina Rune (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death, Torture, Under-Desk Blow Jobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 05:52:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16675756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Middy/pseuds/Middy
Summary: This will be a series of random one shots, drabbles etc of Jalec. I might if they happen to get popular take a one-shot and continue it as a full fic.





	1. Your love i'm lost in|Alternate wedding ending

**Author's Note:**

> If your main ship is the following: Malec or Clace and you're here to leave comments to bully me or other non-Malec/Clace shippers than I ask you to think about what your words do to others and move on. This is a fanfiction site where shippers should be free to ship without judgement. 
> 
> So a big thank you to anyone who has sent kudos my way and takes the time to comment, you are appreciated and much loved!

Jace looked at the back of his Parabatai’s head, still feeling the fabric of the suit on his fingers. His eyes roamed around the crowd of people that gathered and then back to the ‘couple’. He wanted to be happy for Alec, but he just couldn’t. Alec was going to be erasing his sexuality in order to give the Clave and his parents what they wanted. It angered him, who cares if Alec was into men. It didn't take away from his shadowhunter skills and leadership, honestly nothing was different about him in the least. He was supportive of Alec when he found Magnus, but he always felt the taller mans eyes on him before that. It would be at anytime of the day, he could be reading and Alec would space out staring. He felt the first flicker of passion through their rune when Alec hugged him after a stupid argument about Clary. It took Jace's breath away and brought out buried feelings he had for his other half. But seeing him with Magnus...and now in this wedding next to Lydia.

To be honest he was jealous.

Jace wanted to deny it..to squash these feelings down to the depths of his scar riddled soul and join Clary at the reception when it was all over. But when his eyes met the back of the taller mans head, he was consumed with the fear of losing his chance to tell his best friend how he felt. He lost the chance when Magnus had stepped into the picture, and now he was going to lose the second chance he had been given. Magnus and Alec had parted ways awhile back, and even Magnus had to snap Jace out of his obliviousness.   
  
_"You know he loves you right?" Magnus said sipping his wine._  
  
 _"What? Who?' jace looked up from the book he was reading for research._  
  
 _"Alexander, don't get me wrong he gave his all to us. But you never forget your first love, I would know a thing or two about that. Seeing as it was hard to even trap Camille," He stated sadly. "And we both ended on a personal matter that had nothing to do with you."_  
  
 _"Why are you telling me this?" Jace sat the book down. He was worried this was a joke, something one of his siblings might play on him. But it felt way to genuine._  
  
 _"He's making a huge mistake, marrying Lydia," He scoffed. "I couldn't get through to him, perhaps you can."_  
  
  
  
  
And all he could think about was dancing with Alec, as the music played softly in the background, that had him lost in thought not noticing the Silent brother had started.

  
Lydia started to trace the rune, and something in Jace stirred like a wildfire that spread so fast not even the rain from heaven could put it out.

“Stop!”

Everyone looked at the blonde, half expecting it to be Magnus showing up to stop the ceremony. So when it was Jace who moved from his spot to go down the steps to stand below the pair, everyone was whispering in confusing and shock.

“Jace?” Alec’s voice laced with understandable confusing.

“I can’t let you do this.” The shorter male looked at his Parabatai with determination. Making Alec take in a breath, one Jace could feel through their rune.

“Jace get back in your spot!” Maryse hissed, obviously embarrassed and upset.

“Can’t do that..I wont just pretend anymore,” He looked at Alec again. “I know you loved me Alec, I was so blind to it before. I was so absorbed in my own problems I didn’t pay attention to the signs. And when I finally did it was to late, I bit my tongue in order to let you be happy with Magnus.”

He had to keep himself from looking at Clary who literally looked wrecked with emotions from what he could make with his peripheral vision. He felt bad, but he had tried many times to hide his true feelings and today was the final straw.

“Fuck..Alec I’m in love with you, my brother,” He took in a breath. “My Parabatai. If those feelings are not returned anymore I understand but you can’t do this...I wont stand by and watch you sign your life away.”

Alec looked stunned, beyond that his hands were shaking and he had to let go of Lydia. Turning he had a choice to make, to yell at Jace for being so stupid or to…

“Your wrong.” Alec started.

“Alec--” Jace interjected but was cut off by Alec’s hand coming up to stop him.

“You used Love in a past tense,” He started walking down the steps his mother trying to stop him by grabbing at his arm, he side stepped her advances. “I loved you then, and I love you now. You were my first love, you're my Parabatai, noone knows me quite like you do Jace.”

"Noone knows me quite like you either Alec." Jace was having a hard time not moving to meet his Partabatai in the middle, but he also felt like a rock sinking to the bottom of a lake. No words could be said that weren't already spoken between their eyes and shared rune. So he was ready to close his eyes and drown, be consumed in those Hazel pools boring into his own eyes.

Alec had waited years that felt like decades to do this, it felt so natural to him walking towards the man before him. As if he’d walked this path in another life, a soul pulling in another soul to become one after being apart for so long.

He grabbed Jace by the face and stared deep into his mismatched eyes and dove in head first with no hesitation. Crashing their lips together was to outsiders, a display of forbidden love, they’d go insane and be tossed to the Clave like ravenous wolves. Jace would gladly go insane with Alec, if this was his last moment of sanity he was going out in a spectacular way.

To be honest the kiss was so extraordinary it should be illegal to have access to such a drug. As lips moved in a sync with two heartbeats, white fairy lights exploded behind eyelids and the fire Jace had felt spread to his soul's other half as they continued their act of dancing tongues and velvet lips.

Jace circled his arms around his matching soul’s waist,as they rested foreheads together panting out with eyes locked. Damn all who starred with judgement, neither could even give them a second thought. All they could feel was each other.

 

“I love you.” They said over top of the other.

Sloppy grins covered their faces, drunk on love or relief Jace was unsure. All he did know was this was where he was meant to be and the look on his Parabatai’s features reflected his thoughts.


	2. You love me so?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the scene in 1x05 Alec's confession broke my heart and I just had to give him a better outcome

“Hey,” Jace hit Alec on the shoulder to stop the other from walking further. “Whats wrong with you?”

Alec seemed to hesitate, the look on Jace’s face pained him not to. Jace could be upset, disgusted and it was eating at Alec. 

“Y-You have every right to be mad at me.” He finally managed to spill out. His voice almost ended on a whisper, his body was shaking slightly. He could bolt, but that would just raise more questions for Jace.

Jace looked perplexed as he parted his lips, “What did you do?” He was curious now. Which made Alec want to take it back, laugh it off. 

“Put my leather jacket in the washing machine again?” He smiled. 

Why was he laughing? Seriously? Alec had outed his love for Jace in front of everyone and Jace was acting as if it was no big deal. 

“This isn’t a joke.” Alec said clearly not amused by the others witty banter. 

Jace stopped smiling, this was serious he could see the pain behind his Parabatai’s eyes. His lips parted as if to say something but he stopped, was he even sure he needed to know? He would murder someone for hurting Alec.

“At Magnus’s.”

Jace thought back, trying to stay caught up with Alec. 

“The demon..image of you..”

Jace almost laughed out of relief, this intense build up was met with this? Jace didn’t know wether to laugh or to cry. 

“That?” Jace questioned. He Shook his head when Alec went to speak. “You love me so? I love you too Alec.”

Alec waited for a but to follow up after that, when he heard nothing and was just faced with a silent Jace he had no clue how to respond. 

“B-But not in that way Jace I love yo-”

Jace scanned the area for anyone passing by before he crashed their lips together to better show Alec his meaning, wrapping his arms around the archer’s waist pulling him flush against him. 

Alec could barely keep up, he had never kissed a man before let alone anyone in his life. And now Jace..the one guy he never thought it would happen with..was. 

He cupped Jace’s face tenderly, and deepened the kiss. Jace was an expert, which Alec clearly didn’t mind. Though he did protest when Jace pulled back, by trying to capture his lips again. 

“We have to many eyes that could be on us at any second, from now on we tell eachother everything Alec.” He panted looking up into Alec’s half lidded eyes. “From here on out.”

“Agreed.” Alec nodded.

“Now If you wanna follow mom orders tonight great but--” 

“I’d rather..do that again.” He motioned to the blond with a bashful smile.

“Fuck,” Jace chuckled breathlessly. “Yeah that can be arranged.” He grabbed Alec’s hand and guided him somewhere more private and away from prying eyes.


	3. Jack & Vodka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The black comforter laid over Alec and Jace’s bare bodies fresh from the dryer, paired with the snow falling outside made this a very nice morning.

The black comforter laid over Alec and Jace’s bare bodies fresh from the dryer, paired with the snow falling outside made this a very nice morning. Jace noted their clothes strewn about the room, it was unclear where the stripping started or ended. He and Alec had found company in a bottle of Jack and maybe a half a bottle of vodka, which led to Alec’s idea to try and fuck in the elevator. 

Jace had him against the wall with long legs wrapped around his waist, his mouth on Alec’s throat when the door’s dinged and Izzy’s groan was heard. Mission unsuccessful. So then of course Jace thought to go to the courtyard to fuck in the grass, he didn’t care at this point he just wanted to be deep inside Alec before his dick exploded. But unfortunately Clary and Lydia were sparring, and they had to stumble out of view before the two caught their current drunken disheveled state.

Finally they had made it to Jace’s room, and by then they both had wanted this badly enough to just get rid of the annoyedly amount of clothing they wore today. Jace settled for taking Alec on his back, because he could stare down into those hazel eyes as he thrusted into the warmth between the archers legs. 

Looking over at Alec now, he had never seen anyone as intoxicatingly beautiful under his covers. This was his and all his, it nearly took his breath away and he had to bury his face in the nape of Alec’s neck to finally relax and drift back into a blissful sleep.


	4. All I want for Christmas is you|| AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace’s ex will be at the Christmas Party Jace is attending. Alec poses as Jace’s fiance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt "Character A's ex will be at the Christmas Party Character A is attending. Character B poses as Character A's fiance." Part of my ongoing Christmas inspired one-shots.

Jace maneuvered through Magnus’s apartment in hopes to find a strong drink or someone to forget the night with. Sadly that mission was aborted when Clary Fairchild his ex-girlfriend showed up, his coworker Simon apparently had been dating her for a year now. It had been kept under wraps, and shocked nearly everyone as they all thought he was in the closet or something. It still stung like a motherfucker, this was the girl who he had given all too only for her to dump him like trash and never once had she looked back. 

“Jace.”

Jace released his hold on the table he had apparently been gripping for a time, to deep in thought at the time. He let go white knuckles fading as he looked up, Alec Lightwood what could Jace say about him? He was his best friend, the guy had been his partner in crime the moment they both got this job. Magnus Bane was one of the top fashion designers of Brooklyn, he owned ‘Simply Magically Magical’. You had Raphael, Isabelle and Maia as his design team. They were tasked with putting together Magnus’s many ideas and making them work. 

Then you had the desk workers who handled calls, complaints and sales for the company. Which was Jace, Alec, Simon and Luke. A Lot of other people that Jace didn’t make a mission to remember the names of. But Alec stood out amongst them all, he was not afraid to admit that while men don't attract him one made the exception. Lightwood was pretty fucking drop dead gorgeous, and he made a point to always say it to him. 

“Alec, Hey I was just--”

“Wallowing?” Alec said with a short laugh. Jace could drown in that laugh and would never ask for air, it was a contagious one no matter the situation. 

“Fuck is it that obvious?” Tearing his eyes away a moment to scan the party for her and Simon.

“Well your spacing out a lot, and you get this kicked puppy look.” He held up two drinks. 

“You are an angel Alec.” He took the drink and downed it, eyes watering a bit from the burn. Alec wasn’t much of a Hard liquor guy, he would have a beer sometimes but he just didn’t have the taste for the darker alcohols. So when he went to drink the glass of whiskey Jace was amused by the attempt.

“Oh shit..” Alec sputtered the drink out, his eyes teared up and he looked on the verge of a coughing fit. Jace was quick to pat his back after grabbing some soda. 

“Chase it with this.” He rubbed circles on the taller mans back. 

“Thanks Jace,” Alec drank the beverage quickly, stopping only to throw the cup away. “So you going to tell me why your acting so bummed out?” 

Jace had momentarily forgot, but nothing escaped his friend and Alec was always easy to talk too.

“Clary is here with Simon.” He sighed.

“Clary?” Alec looked down at the blond his features going from confused to registering the information. “You have got to be kidding me?”

“Nope. Apparently they’ve been an item for a whole damn year,” He clenched a fist to calm himself. “One of our mutual friends told me Clary was seeing him before she dumped me.” 

“Man I’d be avoiding them too,” Alec sighed out. “Doesn’t help Simon likes to flaunt.” 

“Yeah I know,” Jace motioned to the group near the living room. “He’s been introducing her and telling their epic love story, like it’s the fucking notebook.”

“And I’m sitting here still single with a starting drinking problem.” Jace stated flatly. He would should of moved on but she literally broke him. Worst part was Jace wasn’t even worth a face to face break up. He had been on a company trip and she had sent him a string of texts about how she had done some ‘soul searching’ and realised they needed to go separate ways. She ignored his texts and when Alec brought him to his apartment the place was cleared of all her things. 

“Jace.” He heard his name called out for the second time tonight only it came from someone he hoped he could dodge all night. 

“Clary.” Jace pursed his lips in a tight line. 

“It’s nice to see you.” She smiled sweetly. How did she do that? Turn off a switch in her brain that Jace couldn’t find in his own to pretend the last years events never happened. She was bubbly, and it made him sick, he needed to leave.

“I’m Alec.” Alec most likely sensing his inner turmoil interjected himself into the conversation. He held his hand out very calm and collected, with a hint of protectiveness. All very much Alec Lightwood.

“Clary, Simon’s talked about you.” She shook his hand eagerly. 

“All good things I hope.” Alec forced a light smile, obviously trying to help lighten the mood for Jace which made him all the more thankful for Alec.

“Oh yes!” She beamed, her eyes wide with apparent excitement. “Simon-”

“I thought he was into men.” Jace blurted, it had been a thought but slipped out before he could stop it.

“Well clearly he isn’t but he warned me you were in a fowl mood,” She dropped her smile. “Still finding comfort in being hung up on us?” She was obviously trying to cut him deep as he had just done to her.

“No--”

“Actually I hope not since we’re engaged.” Alec laughed softly.

Engaged? What the hell did Jace just hear? Was he drunk already? He was silent unable to retort to that, was Alec joking around with her?

“O-Oh?” Clary was obviously taken back. 

“Yeah, we weren't really going to let it out till after the party buuut,” He gestured his hands to the three of them. “Here we are.” 

“I didn’t know you were gay..” She seemed stumped and obviously trying to retrace her memories of them to find a trace of gayness along the way that she missed.

He leaned over to Alec tugging him down a bit. “What are you doing?”

“Being your fiance.” He said in a whisper looking at Jace.

Jace would of hugged Alec right then thanking him for being glorious Alec but he didn’t want to break the act, he could hug him later for this.

“Well I’m not really,” He smiled. “But Alec isn’t like other guys..he’s the only guy I’ve felt this way for.”

Alec brushed hands with him, making Jace take it with a reassuring squeeze. 

“Simon never mentioned you guys even being an item.” Her eyes looked them over as if the truth lies beneath their clothes written out on their skin. 

“I what?” Simon walked over with their drinks he was sent to fetch for them. 

“You didn’t tell me Jace was with Alec.” 

“What?” 

“Engaged even.”

“WHAT?” Simon looked beyond shocked and needed to get this wrapped around his brain. “Since when? First I heard of it!”

“We kept it a secret, Office romances are messy and can be hard to hold onto.” Alec smiled genuine this time Jace noted, he was really comfortable with this lie. “Jace only recently proposed.”

“Really? How and when?” Simon looked puzzled and was going to try and trip them up if he could to expose the truth, he had that ‘this is unbelievable’ look in his eyes.

“I knew he was stressed with being held back by calls at work,” Jace explained. “So I set up and Netflix and Chill, I got a bottle of champagne and pizza.” He could see Alec staring, very intently making him fall further into this web of lies. 

“I asked him did he want nights like this for the rest of his life--”

“I said without a doubt, to spend the rest of my life eating pizza and drinking champagne while watching movies we won't recall come morning.” He spoke with such..feeling that Jace couldn’t tell if they were even lying anymore. 

“I get drunk on our laughter, and high from the love that he gives me.” Alec finished.

“So I brought out this box that was empty,” Jace eld up a hand to stop Clary from questioning it. “I told him one day I’ll be able to afford an engagement band and if he’d have me would he want to marry me.” 

“I said yes almost to eagerly,” Alec added. “I had been in love with him the moment we met, Jace never knew that I had the biggest crush on him.” 

Jace went silent. Those words oddly sounded like a confession, or was Jace just jumping to conclusions?

“Well I’m happy for you both really.” Clary chimed in. And Jace actually believed her this time, she clearly had held onto hope for Jace to be happy. But Jace couldn’t get passed how they ended, and now he was fooling her with a fake life he never had with Alec but found himself really wishing he did.

She hugged Jace tightly, and parted ways to get another drink leaving them with Simon in the most awkward silence to ever take place in Jace’s life. With Rocking around the Christmas tree playing in the background, Jace cleared his throat.

“Lets dance.” Alec pulled on Jace with a head tilt to the dance floor i.e the living room. 

“Can’t deny that face.” Jace teased following Alec tpo the vacant spot between a few couples. He put his arms around Alec’s waist not fully leaning in till Alec wrapped his arms around his neck. They looked like they were in a drawn out hug. Alec rested his chin on Jace’s shoulder even though he had to slightly bend to do so, and Jace buried his face in the older of the two’s neck. They had to look inlove right?

“Thank you for saving my ass back there.” Jace spoke softly into Alec’s ear.

“I’ve always got your back, this won't be the last time I save your ass.” He stated as a fact, and it made Jace want to kick his confidant tall ass, with that charming smile he was wearing by the way he spoke.

“This isn’t so bad, the whole engagement lifestyle,” Jace smirked. “I mean if it were true, I’d be one lucky son of a bitch to have you.” 

Alec’s breath hitched notably, and Jace felt dizzy, it was most likely the drink. 

“Their watching us.” Alec stated flatly. Jace turned to find Simon and Clary observing them, he could clearly tell Simon was trying to find some kind of proof it was a dirty scheme. 

“Well lets give them something watch hm?” Jace looked up with a smirk. 

The blush that dusted over Alec’s cheeks made him look so adorable as he looked down in waiting for Jace’s next move. “Hands on my face.”

Alec did as told and cupped Jace’s face lovenly, he seemed to catch on when Jace moved his own hands to the man's hips and pulled them flush together. Alec leaned in slowly smelling of whiskey and coke and Jace couldn’t wait any longer to taste that combo as he met him the rest of the way colliding their lips together. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, it was more of a slow burner that let him get to know Alec’s soft velvety lips, the way he took in a breath when Jace pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. 

He had never kissed a man before, and as far as he knew Alec was gay but never really dated much. He had dated Lydia Magnus’s secretary while trying to maintain he was straight, who had these home baked cookies on her desk that Jace would steal every morning. And he saw them kiss once, but then Alec came out of the closest as and that meant no more cookies. Because bro’s before cookies, and Alec was more than just a one time bro, he wasn’t going to ruin it for some damn cookies. So he settled for stealing Izzy’s cupcakes, which she accused her brother of taking and Alec knowing it was him covered for him and took the heat like a real bro would do. 

So was he the first guy to kiss Alec? The thought alone had him feeling warm, he had no idea why but he wasn’t going to stop kissing him until his lungs gave out or Alec pulled away. Which he wished the latter never happened. 

Alec pulled back taking in a breath, his lips swollen from the lip lock they shared. They didn’t speak just pressed foreheads together and danced, they danced until the music switched to something upbeat and then and only then did they pull away from each other and reluctantly on Jace’s part if he had to admit.

 

“You two aren't together,” Simon laughed walking up. “Jace just had a date last night with MaiaI just remembered that.”

Alec seemed a bit upset by that statement, and Jace found himself wanting to turn around and assure him that Maia meant nothing to him. It was a one night thing that even Maia stated happened to get over an ex, and he was needing the company. 

“Busted,” Jace rolled his eyes. “Going to run to Clary and out us?”

“No, because I know that this is hurting you Jace,” Simon smiled, making Jace frown. “Me and Clary, but while I think the whole engagement stuff is a lie. I do think you guys are something.”

“What?” Jace laughed in confusing.

“The whole office thought you two were an item, I mean Alec has had a crush on you for years.” Simon informed the blond much to the man behind hims dismay. Jace turned quickly as if to see Alec wave off the statement, tell Simon he’s just feeding into office gossip. But Alec looked exposed and vulnerable, and he wasn’t calm Alec anymore, he looked like he wanted to escape. 

“Damn you Izzy..” Alec muttered.

“Alec?” Jace wasn’t aware the other man had any feelings for him, they were close no doubt about that but Alec always kept things like that to himself. He never let anyone know what he was thinking when it came to who he liked.

“Jace,” The gulp was notable and the sweat that started at his brow coating his skin. “I should go.”

“Go?” Jace was unable to grab out for him as he had taken three steps back to avoid being stopped. “Alec don’t go..” Is what Jace could of said but instead he just stayed silent watching Alec walk to the elevator and disappear inside it. What just happened? The kiss..fuck he had kissed Alec as apart of the ruse and never once stopped to think about how it might affect Alec. But he hadn’t known about the feelings the man had for him, would they really have stopped him? He had wanted to kiss Alec, even now he missed the connection they shared when they were that close.

To be honest Jace always felt that they were connected in some way, Alec had said they were like Parabatai, something he had read in a history class he took in college. Alec explained that in ancient times two people were joined together by some ritual that gave each a piece of the others soul. They were bonded forever, to always be closer than even lovers. Something he couldn’t deny, he would do anything for Alec and to be honest if he could move mountains he wouldn’t hesitate to do so for Alec.

“You should go after him,” Clary said behind him. “I mean it’s what I should of done for you but I didn’t.” 

Jace turned to look at her, his eyes searching for bullshit but finding truth in her eyes. 

“Simon told you didn’t he.” Jace swallowed the lump in his throat.

“He didn’t have too, the story was nice but so pulled out your asses.” She teased him lightly. 

“Yeah well I was never a good liar.” Jace shrugged trying to deny a smile tugging at his lips.

“Everything after that story you fed us though,” She sighed in awe. “Was..by far the most magical thing I’ve ever seen. That kiss was felt around the whole room Jace.” 

“He without a doubt from what I can tell is in love with you,” Her hand sat on his shoulder with a warm smile on her face. “He somehow got past your walls you built up, because you never laughed or smiled much when we were together. Not like you do with him, and if you let him walk away you may never get another chance.”

Jace wanted to say something but his feet had other plans, he settled for a quick thank you and ran to the elevator pressing the button until it opened. He felt as if the elevator was slower today than it’s ever been, he counted the seconds until it opened and sprinted out to the lobby and searched, no sign of the taller man. Pushing through the main doors he stumbled out onto the sidewalk, the night air crisp and bitter on his cheeks. Just as he got there a cab pulled off and Jace was unable to see inside but it had to be Alec. 

Running his fingers through his hair he let tears prick the corners of his eyes, the cool air making them sting. He had ruined it, Alec would likely close up on him and never speak to him about today ever again. The thought alone made him want to kick himself and break something. It had taken him this long to pick up on what Alec was putting down? No, somewhere deep down Jace always knew he had feelings for Alec. But being caught up with his own life, they just got lost somewhere between the late night drinking and random hookups. 

“Jace?” Came the calling of his name for a third time that night and by the angels was he glad it was from the voice he’d grown so fond of.

“Alec,” Jace turned so fast he swore he got whiplash. “I thought you left..I-”

“No I was just sitting on the bench over there,” Alec darted his eyes down. “I just needed a breather.”

“Alec about what was said up there.”

“No it’s ok we can forget it ok?” Was all Alec said trying to change the subject, as he often did when things got to heavy.

“I can’t,” Jace laughed breathlessly. “You love me Alec, So? I love you too!” He was tired of being stubborn and oblivious to shit. He wanted this, and the snow that was falling into Alec’s hair made him all the more sure his heart was leading him the right way, to this beautiful creature. 

Alec looked shocked but replaced it was a bashful smile. They stepped inside the doorway to avoid the falling snow, Jace being pulled from his thoughts at the light chuckle from Alec. Looking up to see what Alec had been looking at it was mistletoe hung above the doorway. 

“Well it is tradition,” Jace smirked. “Don;t wanna go breaking it huh?” 

“I’m all about keeping those unbroken.” Alec mocked seriousness. He leaned down as Jace pulled him closer by his hips. 

Jace kissed him with passion this time, and when he felt the other man’s hands on his face he smiled against the softness of the others lips. 

“Merry Christmas Alec.”

“Merry Christmas Jace.”


	5. If aught but death part thee and me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He held tightly reciting their oath aloud, but his mind swirled with other things and he willed himself not to break the oath.

Jace waited long enough to walk through Magnus’s doors, wouldn’t wait a second longer as he pushed through. He nearly fell at the sight of his Parabatai laying as if asleep, but he knew better. He forced himself to move, taking the stone in a silent ‘I’ve got it from here’ to Magnus. He wasted no time in kneeling his side taking his hand gripping it with the stone.

 

_You look so weak._

_How did I not know?_

_Why would you do this Alec?_

_Why couldn’t you just let me go?_

 

He held tightly reciting their oath aloud, but his mind swirled with other things and he willed himself not to break the oath.

 

“Entreat me not to leave thee,”

 

_But didn’t you?_

  
“Or return from following after thee,” Jace held tighter to his hand not wanting to lose grip. Any moment could mess this up and he couldn’t afford to fail Alec, not like he had so many times before. Because his soul that held unto Alec’s couldn’t afford this break, whatever life Alec clung was counting on him and it was all he could not to fall apart.

  
“For whither thou goest, I will go,” He continued.

  
_How can I if I don’t know where you’ve gone Alec? How can I follow you into this darkness without a light to guide me?_

  
“And where thou lodgest, I will lodge.” Just as he finished that sentence Alec jolted, forcing them to drop the stone. Jace looked at it and back to his brother in shock, he felt the fade of their bond and the pull at their runes.

  
_No no no, not you Alec!_

  
“What’s happening?” Izzy broke the silence first.

 

“He’s slipping.” Magnus answered with mirrored sadness in Clary’s ‘no’ response.

 

Jace could barely hear the sound of his own heart over the terrible wheezing sound Alec was making, it was unbearable to listen to. He grabbed the other man's face tenderly as he’d done so many times before. Only now the face was growing cold, and it was unbelievably pale compared to the beautiful tan it normally was.   
“Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.” Jace spoke a bit faster as if just his words alone, without a stone could save Alec.

 

“Where thou diest, will I die..”

 

_Take me with you Alec, don’t leave me here alone without you._

 

“..and there will I be buried.”

  
Still nothing but the ever worsening breathing, Jace wanted to scream and break something. He was useless, utterly useless and he had let the only person he cared for most down.

  
“The Angel do so to me..”

  
By the angel he wished the same fate would take him now, he needed to follow Alec into whatever darkness or light he was going to soon tread. Jace wasn’t certain what would become of him if he lost apart of himself, the only good part.

  
The raspy breathing went out like a low gust of wind, blowing out Alec’s full lips. Jace could feel the life force leave Alec, his rune ached as if trying to claw him from the inside out. His hand shook terribly against the other man’s face, this wasn’t happening he couldn’t be losing his brother..not like this. It was supposed to be a battle, they’d go out in style together, back to back and kicking ass. All he could do was pull Alec close to him, he couldn’t even fully cry, as he was still in denial his Parabatai was gone.

  
“And more also,” He took in a shaky breath, tears filling his eyes. “If aught but death part thee and me.” He choked up on the word death and finally realized his other half was truly gone. That beautiful part of himself would never open his eyes again. His Parabatai, his brother, his soulmate.

  
“Please don’t leave me Alec.” He pleaded letting his tears finally fall, his voice broken and his vision blurry from the moisture flowing from them. He held onto Alec as if the second he let go the man would vanish, the only thing he’d have left is the hole in his chest that would house his broken soul.

  
“If aught but death part thee and me.”

  
Had he heard right? His eyes were wide as he laid Alec’s head down to get a good and proper look. Alec had to take a moment to focus his eyes on him, but that didn’t matter he was awake. He could actually see his hazel eyes again, those big beautiful doe eyes of his.

  
As if on mutual instinct they pulled one another into a tight embrace, both releasing their emotion and letting it all come forth like a broken dam.

 He had to finally tell Alec how he felt, even if it was no longer returned. He saw a glimpse into a life without him and it wasn't pleasant. He needed to let Alec know how he felt before something like this ever happened again. But for now, he was back, and that was all that mattered.


	6. Thank you|Note

Hello my lovely Jalec fans~!

I just needed to give a small update/announcement/shout out etc all in one. 

First off thank you so much to EmilyHowl, SarahGri99, Guacharo, cypresssky, nashcreates, MyRealityIsDifferentFromYours, mllelambie, 67_Winchester_67, Saadie, Jacky_Sikowitz_III, NegMegMalec1, shirasade, SANTHEREADER, Nallain71, MalecHoRitafan92, AnaStar, Kiteran, BlazersEtc, and MorIsco22 and the 22 guests who left kudos on my work! This means alot to me and is a huge drive in me improving and keeping these one-shot’s and stuff flowing. You guys are awfully sweet for taking the time to drop one of these. 

I’m going to be re-writing alot of my work, as I’ve noticed my wording kinda sucks. Not having a beta also makes it harder to catch all of my mistakes myself, but I’m trying to improve. 

I’m also looking for Prompts anyone really wants to see with these two and have yet to see written! So if you have any just comment the prompt and or idea and I’ll do my best to deliver!

Thank you again for your support!


	7. Does she love you like I do? ||Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gripped the railing, watching them, observing the damage being done. Isabelle silent as a grazing deer watches him watch them and he knows in the farthest part of his mind he shouldn’t be upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on the first kiss Clary and Jace have. I kinda wanted another angsty fluff chapter out before I post some dark ones that I have written so be prepared for that.

[](https://imgur.com/9QXTq4T)

{WARNING: This has some Clary hate in it so if you don't like that you've been warned! Also the graphics used are made by me so please don't steal them. }

 

Alec gripped the railing, watching them, observing the damage being done. Isabelle silent as a grazing deer watches him watch them and he knows in the farthest part of his mind he shouldn’t be upset. 

 

But he is.

He turns and without a word walks away from Isabelle, the scene in front of him and makes it to the hall. 

Almost.

“Alec!” Jace is on his heels, reminds him of that dog they once had who would find them all no matter where they hid and would chase their heels once found. Only Jace isn’t that dog, that dog would listen to commands and stay put if said too. Jace never listened, not to anyone nor his Parabatai. 

“I’m busy.” Alec lied, wasn’t even a good lie and he’d have to follow up with another that Jace would see through.

“Clary--”

He turned so fast he swore had his eyes not been focused on the blond the room would be spinning. 

“I’m done helping with her,” He narrowed his eyes. “To be honest if she dies I don’t care.”

“Alec!” Alec ad no idea who had become either, he didn’t like the redhead but he really would never wish death on her. Jace was visibly shocked, his eyes that Alec had memorized since childhood looked bright and confused. Good, because confusing was Alec’s current state of mind about Jace, Jace and Clary, Jace and him. 

“She’s here one day and you,” He talks with his hands, a habit Jace has teased him for but only ever out of playful love, so he normally holds them behind his back as he talks. But today he’s angry and so he forgets, another thing Jace is good at. Pushing his buttons. “Act like she’s the sun and the moon to you!”

“That’s not true!” Jace protests, he’s keeping his voice low and in all honesty Alec expected him to deny this. He denied a lot of things he was oblivious to, or that he wished to remain oblivious too. And it was another thing Alec loved about Jace.

“You have been parading her around like she’s a national treasure!,” Alec blurted, gesturing something that he really didn’t know with his hands. “You look at her like..she’s got the sun shining out her ass!”

Jace put his hands up, it was in mock defeat and it normally meant Jace was feeling attacked or he was trying to defuse this. Though it could be both as Alec had went from shoulders tightly locked and two feet apart, to being so close he was a breath away from doing the exact scene he saw moment before. 

“Alec she kissed me ok?” He started, and Alec was already on edge. Why must he bring it up? Know that it’s was gnawing at Alec? How did Jace read him so well when his focus had been on the girl. “I kissed her back and..I felt--”

“Stop.” Alec breathed out. He couldn’t hear this, not from Jace himself. How do you go from loving someone your whole entire life to hearing them say it was a love all for nought. Jace could shatter him and peice him together, it was just how close they we’re. Their words to each other cut the deepest, but also could mend your wounds. 

“Nothing.” Jace finished over top of Alec’s blurred thoughts.

Alec almost fell into him when the air he seemed to need left his lungs, he braced himself on the wall. Looking down at his Parabatai he took in a sharp breath and let it out through his nose. It was as if his anger had dissolved just like that, which with Jace it was normally a look or a touch that made this happen. But he could still go days angry, yet this right now felt different.

“Nothing.” Alec repeated Jace’s words as if he needed to say them to fully register what he meant.

“I had to know if my feelings were just the bond, so when I felt nothing...I knew.” Jace was serious, not changing his features to indicate this was a lie to make Alec docile and back off. 

“You feel what?” Alec licked his lips as if he could quench his undying thirst for golden boy, the brightest beacon of light that blinded him so. He had done the same, had kissed a few boys here and there nothing felt good to him, just bland and grayscale compared to what one graze of Jace’s fingers did to his forearm right now.

“I feel this..” Jace took the step, he pulled Alec down in searing hot kiss that made them both shutter with pure pleasure and need. 

Alec had imagined it, had dreamt about it and even confided in Izzy about how he pictured this kiss going. He wasn’t expecting it to feel like the warmth of the sun on a cool spring day, or how it felt like their lips were being welded together by the heat and the sparks that pin balled down his spine and to every nerve ending making it hard to catch his breath.

When they parted Alec had to rest his forehead on the shorter males shoulder, he was panting and his breathing echoed Jace’s and fingers laced between them in a silent comfort.

“Jace I--”

“I know, it’s ok you didn’t mean the things you said.” He could feel the breath of his Parabatai on the shell of his ear, wouldn’t pretend not to notice the kiss pressed there or the one he pressed back to the pulse point of the blond’s neck. 

“Well everything I said about you was true.” Alec teased, grinning only in the safety of the other man’s neck. No One saw him smile, he was always focused and ready to work but with Jace he couldn’t contain it.

“Ouch, fighting dirty Lightwood?” Mismatched eyes met hazel ones as they both tried to hold there serious stares. but they only found themselves giggling like kids again. 

“I would love to show you some moves little brother,” Alec started as he kissed the blond again. “In my room or your’s.” 

“By the angels how could I Jace Wayland possibly say no to extra training from the strongest Shadowhunter Alexander Lightwood?” He smirked, getting more than a look back from Alec.

“You think that?” Alec raised his head to look at Jace.

“I know that.” He kissed Alec just as hard as the archer could give back and he found it was easier then he thought navigating to his room with a handful of Jace, but hard while trying to be covert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any requests I got last year are being worked on so never fear your Jalec writer {who is pure trash at it} or whatever is here with your prompts and stuff!
> 
> Also as I've said before I'm still taking prompts even into the new year so please comment those!


	8. Lost without you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing the shirt to his face he inhaled, the fading but still present scent of Alec was there. It calmed him, and yet at the same time scared him at the thought that this could of been the only thing left of Alec..
> 
> Had inspiration from Freya Ridings song 'Lost without you', which I felt goes with Jalec.

Sitting alone in their room, Jace stared at Alec’s ripped shirt that was adorned with an arrow sized hole at the heart. He gripped the fabric as if he could will the evidence of his actions away, the blood still there dried beneath his thumb. It was Alec’s blood, he bled because of the Owl Isabelle repeated, but no one understood that Jace was in there and fully aware of the things the Owl was doing. He felt the warm blood falling onto his hand when the Owl took Imogen's life. Felt the warmth of Clary’s neck as the Owl dangled her over the edge, watching her fall like a broken barbie doll _down down_ _down_..impact.    
  
**Impact.**   
  
  
The impact of the blow Alec made to his face as the Owl fought him, the fact he could even smell Alec as the Owl had him pinned and the snap of his arm beneath his fingers. The cry from Alec that ripped through his prison of a body, straight to the core.    
  
  
_“You fucking bastard! I swear I will hunt you down even to the depths of hell!”  Jace paced around as he could do nothing but scream and shout and cry till his throat was raw and aching._   
  
The desperate crawl Alec made as he attempted to fend off the victor of the fight, the champion of death and despair against his loved ones. He was forced to watch this, and to see every inch of emotion from his Parabatai that ran deep into their rune even through this possession of darkness Alec was still his light ripping through and protecting him. Comforting him as he always has and the thought of losing him is to much to bare and he lets off an inhuman wail tears flowing from his tired eyes, clawing at himself in hopes that the Owl that has taken him prisoner, will be dug out of his mind, body and soul.    
  
_ “Your boy is crying.” He heard his voice say.    
_   
He couldn’t hear much through his own sobbing that ripped through his bruised and battered soul, he was going to lose his beautiful and precious Parabatai..the only thing Jace held the closest.    
  
_“It wasn’t you Jace..”_   
  
But it was, it was him because he could feel the cool metal of the arrow on his palm, the force he had to use to plunge into Alec’s chest to reach his heart. The hot breath from his older brothers hitting his face in pants, his hazel eyes glossy and losing there light.    
  
He felt the force of Magnus’s powers knocking him back, the Owl screeching and busting out the walls to his prison. And when he threw up this bitter bile that stirred in his body, this vile thing that carried out Lilith’s bidding with his hands and his voice was now gone.    
  
But the aftermath wasn’t, the fallout had left things in disarray and he was left with the debris and tragedy that was and always would be his fault. The institution saw him as a threat, someone weak enough to get possessed and controlled..and what was broken was not a valuable asset anymore. The clave needed someone to execute for these crimes and they couldn’t very well go arrest a demon that was long gone by now. They would label him a traitor and a murderer and de-rune him just to watch him suffer.    
  
Bringing the shirt to his face he inhaled, the fading but still present scent of Alec was there. It calmed him, and yet at the same time scared him at the thought that this could of been the only thing left of Alec..   
  
The door to the bedroom opens hitting the wall with a light thud. Heavy footsteps sound off behind him, familiar and yet carry an urgency as Alec rounds the bed where Jace is seated currently.    
  
“Jace..” Alec looks down at his shirt and back to his Parabatai, getting to his knees hands over top of the blond’s. “Oh Jace..”   
  
“Alec..”   
  
“Stop, no words ever have to be spoken between us,” He kept Jace’s gaze as he spoke feeling Jace completely open up to his words. “You’re hurting and I know..I feel it too. I suffer with knowing my Parabatai was trapped and I couldn’t see it or feel it.” Alec kissed Jace’s hands, gently taking his ruined shirt from the others grasp.    
  
“When I found you again, trapped in your own mind..begging me to kill you.” Alec kissed every knuckle softly as he continued. “I wanted to fall apart when we left your mind with you intact and whole before us..” He sighed into a kiss on the palm of Jace’s hand. “I failed you greatly when she took you again..I wanted to give up and die by the owls hand after losing you again....”   
  
Jace wanted to take away Alec’s pain, it wasn’t fair that Alec feel anything like this..he’d take all of Alec's Pain, worry and anger to carry around for him. He cupped the taller mans face, fingertips tingling at the warmth there.   
  
“Everyone telling you that it wasn’t your fault..don’t understand that you can’t stop the feeling it is.” Alec spoke so softly it made Jace tear up. How could he be so loved by this man after everything he had done?   
  
“And I know that you thinking about killing yourself was about Clary’s death and you-”    
  
“No.”   
  
“Jace?”   
  
“All the things I did added up to it..but Clary wasn’t why..” Jace bit his lip looking at the shirt. “I hurt _you_..I almost killed **you** and it nearly killed **me**.” His words were sporadic.    
  
“Out of anyone in this whole fucking world..hurting you,” He choked on those words that never came out easy no matter the many times he spoke them. “Hurt me most of all.”    
  
Alec searched his eyes as if to find him lying somewhere within them. When he moved next it was to cup his face, hazel meeting mismatched eyes. “Don’t hurt yourself..if I lost you..I’d die too.”   
  
Watching tears form in Alec’s eyes cut him deep and took his breath away, he had to swallow down the lump in his throat as he nodded tears of his own mirroring his Parabatai’s.    
  
Alec moved to lay them down pressing his lips against the blond’s, limbs tangled as they purely and simply made out taking their time with passion and love.    
  
Jace wakes later to untangle himself from the warm bare body beside him, making Alec groan from the lack of body heat. Jace soothes the worry away with kisses to the older man's forehead, sitting up Jace lets the cool room air hit his body and sighed. He was sore and in all the right places he was sure Alec could say the same.    
  
Looking down the hand laid out across his thigh which had fallen from his stomach, Jace smiled and picked it up kissing the knuckles softly. Alec really knew how to make things right, no matter what they faced or how badly it broke them. They would be there to pick eachother up and keep going, because it was them against the world.    
  
“I’d be lost without you,” Jace whispered against the tan skin as he turned to lay facing the archer. 


	9. To love is to destroy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To love Alec Gideon Lightwood was destined to destroy Jace slowly and painfully as he watched someone else freely do so.

“I’m going to ask Magnus to marry me.”    
  
Jace watched his Parabatai in pure disbelief but when it was obvious the subject Alec approached him with was true he simply faked a smile.    
  
“Wow, that’s,” He laughed softly. “Great man..”   
  
Alec made no sound, only thing that could be heard was the shift in his feet slightly. Jace was good at stealth but Alec was the solider of Lightwoods. He stood, talked and followed orders like one and knew how to remain silent to access the other people in the room. But Jace knew Alec didn’t need to, they were linked.    
  
“Unless there is a reason I shouldn’t.” Alec finally broke the silence.   
  
_ Reason? _   
_   
_ _“How about the fact I know you inside and out and have loved you so long it fucking hurts!”_ Jace wanted to say but he didn’t, that would of been better then what he did say.   
  
“No reason,” He looked down at the floor fixing his eyes on something other than his brother. “I think you’ll make eachother happy.”   
  
He could feel the pull, the searching Alec was doing through their rune and he cut it short with a turn on his heel heading for the door. The cold slap to the face he felt as the connection was rejected made him grit his teeth. He knew Alec wanted to feel his true emotions on this and he was sure Alec already knew given they share so much already as Parabatai.    
  
He was raised to fear love, hate it as it was a means to destroy anything it touched. He refused to be the one to plague his older brothers life with that. Be the person who kills the ideals of love in front of the older of the two. He already did that to Clairy who he could never fully give himself to. And to the countless one night stands he had, nameless girls and drunk blurs.    
  
To love is to destroy.    
  
To love Alec Gideon Lightwood was destined to destroy Jace slowly and painfully as he watched someone else freely do so. For the harshest life lesson of all was to love Alec with everything he had and having to bury those feelings deep under lock and key. Love didn’t destroy he knew so in the end, Jace destroyed people. He was destroying himself now, he was winning a battle his heart wanted to surrender to.    
  
To love was to destroy.    



End file.
